Unlove for Justice

Mrs Barnali Sen didnot lament the death for too long. She got busy with the work for her orphanage and the tongues in the society wagged. She didnot care, neither had time. She and her husband was in the midst of a legal proceeding in order to convert her property into an orphanage as soon as possible.

Mrs Sen had a happy family of three. She and her husband Mr Neelkamal Sen, a professor of Physics, began their journey together forty years ago. They were not a very wealthy family to begin with as many humoured her father-in-law for coming under the barbed wire on a dark night of 1971 with his wife. Neelkamal was about 15years old then. He finished his studies from Calcutta University while his father slogged and withered away in one of the jute mills. Neelkamal’s mother passed away soon after and he was left alone.

However, his then neighbour Mrs Preetilata Burman, a poor childless widow, took him in as her own and provided for him. Neelkamal treated her as his second mother but soon lost her to some unknown disease. He was in college then. This is when he met Barnali and their souls connected. Barnali was a year senior to him so they knew that her family would be dead against this union. After getting a job of an assistant professor, Neelkamal asked for Barnali’s hand in marriage from her father. It was rejected without another word and he was threatened in direct words of dire consequences if they were seen together ever again. Barnali stood up for him and left her parents house that very day. They got married in Dakhineshwar Temple the next day and Barnali has not seen anyone from her family since then.

Their family grew in size, adding the youngest Mr Sen to the lot. They lived happily. However they had trouble in making their ends meet. Barnali started giving some tutions in order to provide for the schooling of their son. Staying in a one room house was also becoming difficult as their son was growing up and he needed a separate room. Their son, Indranil, also loved posto a lot. Every meal he had to have the paste of the poppy seed in some form or the other else his tantrums would begin. Barnali, even though skipping lunch half the days in order to save some food for dinner, always made sure to keep her stock of posto full. Indra too was a loving and respecting son that any mother would be proud of. Finally God seemed to look up. The payscale revision changed their lives.

They shifted to a bigger house, though on rent,but to a better locality. Indranil went to a good college in a different State of the country and was in his third year of engineering.Neelkamal and Barnali had purchased a house and prayed for their son’s campus interviews that were just round the corner. Suddenly everything came to a standstill with the ringing of the door bell one winter night!

Neelkamal looked at the eye hole and was surprised to see their son at the door. He opened the door and his son rushed in. He looked terrified and inebriated. Barnali took hold of his shoulder and asked what had happened. However, their loving, doting son was looking ill, very ill. Neelkamal and Barnali took their son to his room and made him lie down. Soon Indranil was in a deep slumber.
The Sen couple had a sleepless and troubled night after many years. They waited for their son to wake up and put an end to their misery. Finally, at 11am the next day, Indranil woke up. Barnali asked him to freshen up and brought him a piping hot cup of tea soon after.  There was a stark difference between the one who came in last night and the one sipping tea infront of them, thought Barnali.
After few silent moments, Neelkamal cleared his throat and said,”Is there anything you want to tell us, Indra?”
Indranil looked surprised. He said, “Can’t I come back to my home unannounced? I thought to surprise you. Are you not happy?”
Barnali knew Indra was hiding something. However, she let it pass. Neelkamal again started,”We were surprised but the state you were in last night was very disturbing for both of us. How did you come? Where is your bag?”
The mere mention of the word “bag” brought back the same fear in Indranil’s eyes that they had seen the day before. He got off his bed and quickly left the house saying he will be back soon.
Neelkamal and Barnali were left dumbfounded. They couldnot make anything out of this weird behaviour of their son. However, they could do nothing except wait.
It took exactly three hours to end their wait. The phone call came at 2:15pm. They rushed to the Anandmayee Hospital which was near the airport and at the far end of the city. Barnali, who had received the call from the police station, could not process all the information at one go. She told nothing to her husband. They hired a cab and reached the hospital within one hour.

There were two policeman waiting in the reception. As soon as they introduced themselves, they were rushed to the second floor. There sat a woman and  a man, both crying and talking to the doctor.  The policeman said, “They are the parents of the victim.”
Neelkamal asked,”What victim? What are you saying?”
“What have you come to see here? Who gave you the permission to be here?” screamed the woman.
The policeman said,”We had called them Madam. Please control yourself. We are trying to help you”.
“Help? What will you do now? Can you bring back my daughter? Look what your son has done to my daughter!” saying this she fainted. A nurse, with the help of her husband helped her to a stretcher. She was wheeled away with her husband rushing along.

“Madam, the girl lying on that bed is fighting for her life. She was gangraped by your son and his friends. We have caught two of them but your son is absconding. Do you know where he is?”
Neelkamal’s legs gave way and he stumbled onto a bench nearby as if he was punched in his stomach. Barnali face was expressionless. She looked through the glass opening. A girl of hardly thirteen or fourteen years old was lying on the bed showing no movement whatsoever. She too received an invisible blow and did not know what to say or do.
“Madam, the girl, Kavita was celebrating her birthday in a hotel with her friends. These boys came there and got drunk. Then they tried to join the party uninvited. When they were refused, they got angry and started using foul language. The girls complained to the hotel authority and they were removed from that area and was given a separate room to continue their fun. They must have planned to take revenge and somehow got hold of Kavita and took her to their room. The five of them then brutally raped her and left her to die. Your son seemed to have arrived yesterday night and met his friends before going home. We found his belongings and so called you to see if he was there.”
Barnali steeled herself. She said in a very low but strong voice that she will call the authorities if her sonncomes back.
Neelkamal seemed to be lost in despair. He was helped to his feet by Barnali and then they returned home. Barnali got flashes of the bruised face of the little girl. She could hear the screams of the mother in the hospital.
Later that night, the doorbell brought them back to their senses. Neelkamal was in no position to walk up to the door. Barnali opened the door and let her son in. Indranil was constantly looking behind as if to see if someone was following him.
“Ma, I will leave right away. One if my professors called. I have an interview tomorrow. I am taking a late night flight back. I have only one request to make. If someone asks you whether I came here, please say I never came.” Saying this he rushed inside.
Barnali knew what had to be done. She quietly reached the phonenand dialed the number that the officer had given her in the hospital. Soon enough her son was ready to leave. Barnali stood at the door. Indranil was astonished. One look into his mother’s eyes and he understood that Barnali knew everything.
“Did you call the police?” he asked.
“Yes I did and I will personally see to it that you get a death sentence for what you have done!” screamed Barnali with tears of anger, disgust and agony rolling down her cheeks.
“I am your only son Ma. Yes I made a mistake but you can forgive me. Please save me.Please Ma,” pleaded Indra.
“Do not call me Ma anymore Indranil. I am no mother to a rapist! I am a woman first and I am sure every woman will do the same”, said Barnali strongly.
Indranil knew he had no escape. In his final attempt, he pushed his mother out of the way and rushed out. Barnali could hear a lot of commotion outside. There were many raised voices, running footsteps, and then two loud booms!!
She woke up in a hospital bed and screamed her son’s name for the last time.

After few days…
Barnali and Neelkamal had decided to give up everything and build an orphanage. Indranil was never mentioned ever. They knew he deserved to meet the end the way he did. He tried to escape by shooting one of the policeman and in return firing he was fatally wounded. He died the next day in the same hospital where his mother was admitted.
Barnali  and Neelkamal never lamented his death.

It is ok

It is ok to fall and be broken
It is ok to cry and fight.
When a hand is stretched for you
It is ok to hold it tight.
People come and people go
Let them fly free
The one who cares for you will stay
Like a deep rooted tree.

The Demons of the Shadow

Days pass by amidst no new dawn
Darkness grasping minds everywhere
Demons’ desire of blood assuaged
Deep within lies its nest full of bones
Hatred and evil in every nook and corner
Hissing and crawling serpent like
Heaven’s gate engulfed by Erebus
Hell gaped wider with gleaming fangs
Lamps are flickering about to die
Lurking shadows under the covers
Lechers and Leeches awaiting their chance
Looking around for softer flesh
Perilous are the ways ahead
Perfidious faces in the ocean so blue
Perturbed are known faces too enveloped by
Plundering ravaging fogging fear
Tangled in the trap of the demons
Toutured to the core
Tarnished soul is eaten away by self
Tattered self lies for the hyenas in the shadows
Abominable reflections on the mirror of eyes
Acrimony scattered like jungle fire
Agony of assault was nothing compared
Abyss of loathe in every inch of skin that burnt
Feminine fault they find in the burns
Fumbling around the chest with again
Foresaken by the feeble minds
Frozen feelings behind the closed doors
Junkyard would they throw the soul
Jarred the body awake, this thought
Jerking pains and swollen lips still
Jolted a spirit to fight against
Not a hand from the covering they call skin
Numbness began to eat away
Nettlesome tears rolled down her cheeks
Not a body they call human around
Road she will have to tread alone
Resilience will be an acquired skill
Resolute she was for her path
Rooted strongly to the ground
Vestal no more, all said with taunts
Valiantly she will wage a war
Vengeance she will bring upon
Virile demons will be slaughtered to bring back the new dawn.

Note: This poem was written on the context of increasing number of rapes. Women face a lot of mental and physical abuse from inside as well as outside her home. Strangers apart, even family members try to take advantage of her aand many times the blame is placed on her shoulder. The poem showcases the evils of our society and its ruthlessness towards women in general.

My Paradise

I live in a paradise
Surrounded by the hills
Greenery everywhere
with few scattered mills
Few birds fly below
My window is up high
Far you see the lights
where the villages lie
Various shades of green,
Red and yellow there
Like a colourful painting
From the window, everywhere.

The rainbow from my window

Sins of a woman

Sin is not to be born a woman
Sin is but the thought of bliss
Sin is not to be a mother or wife
Sin is but to give own life a miss

Sin is not the journey together
Sin is but the excessive care
Sin is not to have the powers
Sin is but the thought to dare

Sin is not the priorities set
Sin is but the time for self
Sin is not the sweat and blood Sin is but to seek and delve


Every night I feel you
I know you are thinking of me
The warmth felt inside is a sign
Love still is there may be
The distance didnot matter before
When our souls were together
The distance do not matter, no more
But broken souls to gather.
Our paths are not parallel
Not even do they cross anymore
You have gone your way afar
Mine, I have chosen long before.


Like a temptress in the wild, who enthralls all who seek;
When they come near, o so near!
With heart so innocent and weak.
Like a poison ivy you wrap
upon their bleeding heart
weave a spider’s web so smooth
A dangerous enchanting trap!
Deceit is your prowess but the knife
I could not see was there.
When spring was gone, I see my heart was nothing, but a spare!

Heaven on Earth

The sunrise o’er the horizon blue
Crimson sky awakes the seagulls too
Swaggering like a bride in white.
The waves below the flying red kite
The sunflowers on my terrace arise
Whispering softly the wind in guise
My door in brightest azure tricks
To believe the colour of sea it picks
Wandering & travelling wherever I go
Heaven on Earth is back here I know.


I wish to have wings and fly
With the rolling time and tide
They wait for no one and go by
However fast you ride.

Years come and years pass
Adding more to life
No not age I speak about
Nor the vice or strife
Let us make the rumours scarce
But love and wisdom rife

Bidding adieu to the memories that last
Manifolds all the pains
Fly high with the wings spread wide
And forget all the stains

I wish to see the unicorn pink
Up in the clouds so high
Believe what I want to believe
Live! Prior the inevitable goodbye!
Spreading of wings is so simple,
Than to forever sit and cry!

I wish to have those wings soon
Cause the time is running fast
Freedom is a necessary boon
from a not so distant past….


   A new beginning   

When the clouds are grey,With not a silver lining near
When dreams betray, And the mind has nothing but fear

When locked up in cages, With the key lost somewhere
When lost are the pages, Of the life’s melody everywhere

When the sun shines, But without its dazzling rays
When hope fades, With the passing of the days

When the mighty ones fall, With the ever glistening eyes
When there are only calls, For the final goodbyes

When we seek God , Behind the closed doors
When we find God, Where there are only sores

When the world is still, And Mother nature heals
When you see the distant hill, And how the blue sky feels

When Hope is our only weapon, And Patience is our armour
When Love is our only beacon, And Empathy is the charmer

When distancing afar, We stay hand in hand
When hearts ajar, In every inch of land

Then my friend remember, The battle is almost won
There is still the ember, Glowing and yet not done

We will live to see the day again, Brighter than before
Only be grateful, don’t complain, Live to the fullest and more